Oh my god, Becky, look at her...

I've been thinking about women a lot lately.

Not in the "see ya, Shupe, I've found a lady friend" kind of way.

I've been thinking about our image of ourselves. Other's image of us. The media's portrayal of women. The fact that a panel of men think they have a right to make decisions about our bodies. I've been thinking about radio dj's who feel a woman speaking on her right to contraception is a "slut" who should make her sexual activity available for viewing by said dj. I've been thinking about the people who kept on listening.

I've never been one to have a good self-image. I grew up with (albeit loving) nicknames of "Tubby" and "Piglet" and "Slow-Mo." I've always had, like many many young people, that nagging feeling that I could look better. That feeling has taken me to the gym. That feeling has encouraged my nearly two decades of vegetarianism. The better stuff you put in your body, the healthier your body will be.

This week, someone I care deeply about took that same low body image and headed to the surgery center, going under the knife to literally limit the amount of food and drink they can physically injest. Visiting them yesterday, I had flashbacks of my dad, in the final days of a disease that would end up taking his life. Groggy, incoherant, in pain and unable to walk more than a hallway's length. But this time it was self-inflicted, not at the behest of the indiscriminate illness we call cancer.

When I thought about writing this post, I took a hard look at just how many people I know that have gone through this same procedure for this same reason. Hoping not to offend, I have been in turmoil about whether or not to even put these thoughts to "paper." But then I decided that it has to be said. If we could stop and think for a moment, we would realize how far from healthy we have become.

But I can't put the blame solely on women and their desire to look like a starlet on the runway. This is the image thrust upon us by the media, celebrities, royalty and everyone who promotes the unattainable goal that is perfection.

Every time I go to purchase my groceries at the market and I see that Star Magazine, the one with the pictures of "who looks great in a bikini, who looks not so great," I realize that is what little girls with their moms are seeing. Who are we do judge bikini bodies of the famous? Who is buying this shit? I know this is an extreme case, but just think about it. Burly football players are flanked by scantily clad cheerleaders in barely-there outfits; female tv anchors don tank tops and cleavage next to male anchors in three-piece suits; Fiat sells us cars by ads with a sexy woman speaking a foreign language (who cares what she's saying anyway?) making swoony eyes at the geeky guy. This is what sells.

Then we have Congress and the uber religious deciding that they know best what rights a woman should have over her body. A panel of men served as the "experts" regarding women's rights to contraception. Dozens of propositions are circlating in many states regarding "personhood," who can get an abortion and what reasons these people feel are reasonable for her to do so. Abortion doctors continue to be targeted with violence. If you don't agree with contraception and abortion, don't use it and don't have one. Nobody is forcing you to. But when you try to tell me what I should and shouldn't do in the privacy of my home, you bet your ass I'm going to stand up a give you the fight of your life.

Nobody has the right to tell a victim of rape that she is not legally allowed to rid her body of the evidence of that horrific event, unless they've walked in her shoes. It is not your choice. She's been through enough without having to fight for the right to have control of her body, after she was forced to lose all control over it. Shame on you.

I must say, though, that it's not all bad. Women are speaking up. Women are banding together to say enough is enough. We cannot risk giving up what we've fought so hard for.

Let's unite. Let's decide that healthy is eating right and exercising, not spending the day at the surgery center and two weeks on a liquid diet. Let's tell her she's beautiful not because she's thin, but because she shines from the inside out. Let's not buy those trashy magazines that propetuate an unatainable ideal of perfection. We all deserve to feel good about ourselves and make others feel happy with themselves.

If you want to join the movement of women (and men) standing up to say that this war on women must end, go to http://www.wearewomenmarch.net/. Let's do it for our daughters, and their daughters. And their sons and brothers.