Shoulda Read the Fine Print...

Well everyone, we have almost had our first week of living at the new pad... FINALLY!! I cannot tell you how amazingly awesome it is to have a home... Of my own... To go home to everyday. I am just pleased as punch.

Of course, in the first week of staying at the new house, we have had some big F-U-N! I thought this little gem was worth sharing:

So, on Saturday afternoon, I was lucky enough to have some of the Shupe family (sister-in-law Shupe and 2 Shupe nieces) come over and visit, along with a lovely friend of mine and her 4 month old daughter. I gave them the guided tour (all 2 minutes of it), pulled up some chairs and cracked open a little vino (for the grownups, not the kids, of course). Here was the beginning to a lovely first Saturday afternoon lazing away with fabulous friends and great wine.

After a few minutes, a bit out of character, I grabbed little baby Lily (one of the world's cutest babies, by far) and proceeded to play baby handler. (That's what it's called, right?)

Here I am, chatting away with my gals, holding my four month old bundle of cuteness and watching the two nieces (5 and 7) run around playing with Shupasaurus, breaking in the new house with giggles and smiles.

(Let me interject a little background information here... I am one of the founding members of "No Kids Anonymous."
Me: "I'm Chelsea and there are no kids in my future.Period."
NKA Members: "Hello, Chelsea."
Kids have never been my thing. I get nervous, I don't know what to say, sometimes I even start stuttering and lose my words. I can't strap in a car seat and I'm pretty sure I could count on one hand the diapers I've changed in my life. I have a standing rule that I will not hold babies until they are able to write their name in cursive and get me a beer. That's just a little about me and kids.)

Back to the story...

After a while, the kiddos say that they see someone pull up in front of the house. Hmm... I didn't realize I was expecting more guests, although I have invited everyone and their brother over, practically.

So, I get up and walk outside, holding my bundle of cheeks, tailed by the two nieces, only to find my lovely coworker and her friend walking towards the shack from their car.

Here I am, "No Kids Chelsea," holding a months-old baby, being followed by two children under ten years old.

Apparently this house came with a litter of children and a brand new outlook on family life. I guess I should have read the fine print on my loan documents a little closer. ;)

My Fifteen Minutes...

Maybe I should back up a bit. Perhaps this should be called "My Five Minutes." That might be more fitting. Fame is fleeting, you know.

Anyway, for those of you who haven't heard, yours truly was interviewed for a story in the Sacramento Bee regarding the horror that is a short sale. I chatted with a journalist a couple weeks ago and was subsequently visited by a lovely camera man at my little shack that will.

"Sweet!" I was thinking. "Maybe I will get a quote or two and a little snapshot in the real estate section, which I can send to my mom, my aunts and my grandma, who would be oh so proud. Way to go, Chels. You're a star in those two sentences of newspaper copy."

Welp, that wasn't quite the case. . .

I woke up on Sunday and checked my Sac Bee app on the trusty iPhone, and there I was, top story of the "Top Stories" section. "No way," I thought. So, 6am in all my glory, I run to the Bordova Starbucks and grab the paper only to be greeted by none other than my goofy self. On the cover. In my painting clothes. With a wreck of a house behind me. And a big garbage can with the word "FREE" spraypainted in construction orange on it.



Let me clear a couple things up so I might live the rest of my life with a hint less embarassment:
1. Though I hoped that the Bee would spring for a little PhotoShop action, I was gravely mistaken. The camera adds ten pounds, ok?
2. Along with adding ten pounds, the camera adds about 100 years... To the house. My poor little Discoball Shack looks like a hot mess. I swear, it is no longer at that level of shack-dom.
3. The only reason "FREE" is written on the garbage can (which I am kicking myself for not moving pre-photoshoot) is because we had an abundance of oranges during last year's harvest and Shupasaurus left them out for our neighbors to pillage.
4. Yes, I realize I need to get those roots done. Hey, you try forking over your life savings plus ten million, then starting a construction project of epic proportions and find the time and money to get your hair done. Not as easy as you would think. And yes, I am forgoing food and necessities so that I can take care of it ASAP. Ugg, what would my aunt, the world class hairdresser, say if she saw my hair looking a mess like that? Thankfully she lives in LA Times territory and not Bee-ville.

Anyway, enough excuses.

I am happy that my bloggie got a shoutout and I know my mom is proud that her daughter made it above the fold and, in the words of a family friend, "not for committing a crime." I'm still waiting for the extreme spike in blog readership, but hey, I've got plenty of time. I'll take the 100 extra views this little blog has gotten in the last few days.

Thank you to Jim for including me in your piece. Thank you to the cameraman who managed to catch me not making too bad of a duckface (damn you duckface, for plaguing me in photos). And thanks to everyone who called me a star over the last few days. It may not be true, but it's fun to pretend.